Two nights ago I dedicated to " Sailing" to a Friend , a coworker from the market who was suddenly taken away. I dedicated it because we had joked about the Damn Long Winter and The Need for Spring, and he said he wanted to get out on a boat and get some Fishing Done on Lake Erie.It was just a couple of weeks ago. We were the same age, we would run into each other in the basement humming The Oldies. And then there was the last Sunday before Easter, it was bitter cold, hell it even snowed. And people at work were grouchy. I snapped at my manager, said that the Older Workers are not appreciated, I didn't mean to, and I felt bad about it, said I was sorry later. But working without Heat has gotten to me, my patience is as chapped as my hands.I went down to the basement grinding my teeth, mumbling, and I ran into the Vegetable Man- he too was in a heavy mood. His eyes were red and he looked very tired. I asked if he was Okay, He mumbled he was fine as moved some boxes out of the way. I said " really what is wrong ?"
" Ahhh, it's just more Stuff...Can't fix Everything, It is What it Is .."
He shook his head and stomped away....I nodded silently. And he walked off in a quiet fury...and I went back upstairs to work.
The quiet vegetable man that was trying to tell me something...and maybe I really had not heard him...well enough.Did he even know I heard him...that I was listening.
Later, I was upstairs and I heard that he got into a continued altercation with some of the workers, and that he left work fuming.....But what happened next I did not know until this week.
He went down to the Bus Stop...and there waiting for the bus, he had a stroke...He never woke up or spoke again.
And then this week, after Easter, he died.....All of those unresolved issues still lingering in the basement. And that last Conversation hangs in my head like an unfinished painting....For him, there will be no Spring, No More Fishing Trips on the Lake.....It Is What It Is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sailing"
Appreciate the time you have ....and those around you. Take care of those around you...
3 comments:
I feel sad for you, and I know how you feel. I never got to say good-bye to my Dad before he passed. We had had an argument and I never got a chance to say I was sorry. I've gotta stop now, or I'm gonna start crying.
Oh Granpa....
I am so so sorry....
I am so sorry there was an argument....but maybe in some way your dad knew that he raised a good man...and that he taught you to be independent and
and stand up for yourself....maybe the argument was just you two being who you were...love is something stronger that even the biggest disagreements...
as a nurse I have been with many people when tbey die....( Hospice and ER) and I have to say....almost always they focus on what they love and treasure when they are dying .....it brings them comfort and solace and a peace that they hold dear....
namaste....
many hugs..
( so sorry I made you sad...)
Please don't feel bad about it, it's not you're fault I got all weepy.
He knew he raised a kid that didn't listen to him very often, pretty bullheaded, just like him. I never once heard him even utter the words "I love you", not once. But that's alright, I heard it a lot from Mom all through my life right up to the end of her's, and that was the important thing to me.
I got my stubbornness and my nasty streak from my Dad and my love, affection, and independence from Mom.
Post a Comment